Sharpshooter
by ciTohCysP
Summary: North and Wyoming have a competition to see once and for all who's the better sniper. (WARNING: Crack pairing and some swearing.)


**Disclaimer: I'm so tired I don't feel like coming up with anything beyond I do not own Red vs Blue.**

"Speaking"

'_Thoughts_'

**Author's Notes**

"They've been at it for hours." York said, his voice edging on concern.

Four freelancers had gathered at the viewing platform late into the night, dotting the cold grey tones of the_ Mother of Invention _with tan, lavender, black, and teal. They looked down at the training arena that had been specially set up as a shooting range by F.I.L.L.S. after some sweet talking and bribes.

"I'll bet they'll be up till tomorrow and still be evenly tied," South wagered as she paced back and forth in front of the thick glass plane, then paused as she thought for a moment and added, "actually, I'll put fifty on Wyoming."

Down below, a snowy white armored marksman and a purple-tinted-green sniper battled indirectly, firing at far off targets with incredbile speed and amazing precision unachievable by anyone else.

"That's rather cruel, don't you think?" York said, raising an eyebrow at the female twin's merciless approach.

Shot after shot was fired and Tex watched like a hawk, observing and taking in the smallest of details. Carolina stood a ways back, glaring at the black clad freelancer that had surpassed her on the all-important leaderboard and gained special treatment from the Director for reasons she could not fathom.

"I think I'll put fifty on North," Tex said confidently, her voice sounding smug like she had already won the bet.

"I've got one hundred on Wyoming, he is higher on the board after all," Carolina motioned to the intimidating blue board as she spoke.

**4\. Wyoming**

**5\. North Dakota**

South snorted and she resumed pacing like a caged tiger, "Yeah, by one rank."

"Yes, by one rank…" Carolina repeated quietly to herself, her green eyes unfocusing behind her one way visor.

Then York spoke up from his position leaning up against the cool metal railing. "Hey now, let's just relax and watch the match, we can't know for sure who'll win until one of them has already won."

"Where'd you read that? A fortune cookie?" South washed out bitterly, her eyes glued to her brother's crouching form on the enclosed training field, light blue orbs staying on target like motion trackers as she strode back and forth.

Tex's thoughts ran systematically in her mind, soaking in information and processing it quickly to come out with the best solution, or in this case, the winner of the standoff. '_The key difference between them is that North works better in a team, preferably his sister, and is also a slightly more rounded fighter, he can use mid ranged weapons along with short ranged weapons fairly well and can at least hold his own in hand to hand while Wyoming is foremost a sniper and a definitive lone wolf… besides a sweet spot for Florida who likes to 'clean up' after him._'

Meanwhile on the training floor North's trigger finger was beginning to tire from the non-stop usage and he was fighting to keep up with an entirely composed Wyoming who didn't even seem to be breaking a sweat.

It was the same thing again and again, first a neon red target the size of a penny would pop up from behind some artificial cover with a soft tick, then two successive shots would sound in the same instant making them seem like one, then the target would fall to the ground in the rapidly growing mountain of small red dots and a new tally would appear on the display screen overhead and F.I.L.S.S. would announce who hit it first. The targets would pop up anywhere and everywhere and there was no telling when the next one would appear, they could be entire minutes apart or there could be three at once.

_Tick_.

_Bang_!

_Click_.

"Point agent North Dakota. The score is now 308 to 307. Advantage agent North Dakota."

"Oh bugger, I missed it," Wyoming muttered from his crouched position a little ways away from North.

_Tick_.

_B-bang_!

_Click_.

"Point agent Wyoming. The score is now 308 to 308. Score tied."

This time the crack of sniper shots were slightly distinguishable from one another as North's reaction time slowed and his eyelids began to droop.

'_Damn! Why did I stay up all last night training_…' North thought as he waited for the next target to spring up.

_Tick_.

_Bang_!_ Bang_!

_Click_.

"Point agent Wyoming. The score is now 309 to 308. Advantage agent Wyoming."

The two newest shots were separated by a second and Wyoming took notice. "You slowing up, old chap?"

"In your dreams, Reggie," North said groggily as he reloaded, adding to the pile of shells that was steadily growing.

_Tick_.

_Bang_!

_Click_.

"Point agent Wyoming. The score is now 310 to 308. Advantage agent Wyoming."

'_There was only one shot this round_…' Wyoming noted silently.

Out of curiosity, the british freelancer craned his head to see his opponent lying flat on the ground with his helmet pressed against the concrete floor and a strange rumbling sound coming from the completely still form as he breathed.

Slowly, Wyoming got to his feet and couldn't help but revel in how good it felt to stretch his legs after hours of patient stillness. North made a another rumbling sound which drew Wyoming from his stretching and back to the collapsed man, he took the short six step journey to the other man's side and poked at him cautiously with the barrel of his sniper rifle only getting another loud grumble from the other.

'_What in the_…' Wyoming thought before it clicked.

He was snoring.

North had _fallen asleep_ in the middle of their competition.

He chuckled softly and after a quick look to make sure there was no one else in the room he scooped North up like a disney princess, hoisting the slightly larger man into the air with a small huff and somehow managed to carry him gently across the training room floor even though the armor made him weigh far more than your usual princess. Wyoming contently lulled North deeper into sleep with the gentle rocking of the way he moved, his weight shifting from side to side with each step, causing him to sway slightly as he walked and North let out an unconscious sigh that made Wyoming smile cheerfully.

Unbeknownst to the winner of the competition, the onlookers in the high alcove above the training room floor watched the whole thing with varying reactions, South was kneeled over on the ground laughing so hard her sides hurt. Tex was watching intently with a huge grin on her face as she recorded the whole ordeal, possibly to use as blackmail later on or to sell to South. York was grimacing as a single thought rolled around in his mind, '_Florida is not going to be happy about this_…' and Carolina just sighed at her colleagues immaturity and held a button on the control panel that allowed her to speak to the on board computer system, "F.I.L.S.S., please deactivate the training simulation and notify the clean up staff in the morning."

"Of course, agent Carolina," F.I.L.S.S. complied in her usual happy tone.

Carolina then proceeded to push the others out of the viewing platform and back towards their own rooms saying, "We should _all _get some rest."

"I bet Wyoming won't be getting any!" South managed to choke out between peals of laughter.

"Yeah, in either sense of the word," York added with a grin.

"Can it, you two," Carolina snapped. "And no one, by_ any means _is to tell Florida about this, understand?"

"Florida? What's he gonna do? Hurt us with his positive feedback? Wound us with compliments?" Tex asked sarcastically, her mind drifting to the mysterious blue guy.

All of a sudden the others went dead silent until York spoke up, "You know agent Tennessee?"

"The one who went missing?" Tex asked, startled slightly by the others sudden change in mood.

"Yeah, didn't really go missing," South said sullenly, "It's just less paper work that way."

Tex shuddered slightly at the implication behind her words. "Point taken, what happens in the training room, stays in the training room."

"Agreed, now let's all get some sleep," York said with an air of finality.

The small group nodded their agreement and disbanded, splitting as they each made their way down the silent corridors of the Mother of Invention where everyone except five freelancers and a handful of security guards were fast asleep.

**And that's all for this months edition of "I wasn't supposed to ship it this hard!" Come back next time for some more ridiculous crack pairings that seem crazy but are somehow the most amazing thing you never knew about! (Just kidding!)**

**Honestly, this started as just a friendly competition but it kinda… Wrote itself. I'm sorry Florida! *Florida grabs knife* No, Florida stop. *twirls knife menacingly* Florida what are you doing! *Florida goes towards North's room* Florida no! I still ship you with Wyoming! North means nothing to me! *Florida smiles happily* ...I-is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, I'm gonna stop writing this now cause it's justing getting weird. This is what happens when I try to write something at four in the morning… Except it's only eleven.**

**Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been busy with… Other stuff. But I will keep up with my usual pace from here on out! Kind of. Maybe. Sort of. No promises.**

**Everyone, meet my lovely beta, TheSupernova! She betas all my stuff and you should really go check her out!**

**If you like the story then favorite and if you want to tell me something or ask me something or even just flame me for whatever reason then just leave a review!**


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